From The CMMDR: Searching For Shelter by Neller Toghoth. Chap 31, p. 493

.... wanting desperately the part yet knowing the job itself would be akin to three months of shoveling raccoon shit with a spatula. Still, he prepped, at one point calling the Ensign for advice on the line reading. That was a mistake. The rancorous and sullen Semite, taking some time off from trimming his beard, suggested he demand an 'offer' from the powers-that-be. But the last offer the CMMDR had gotten was to play a turd in an eighth grade production of The Velveteen Rabbit. So he was dis-inclined to take the acidic Hasidic's advice. Especially since  venomous Nyackian performer was awash in offers himself - a fact which only served to heighten the desperate state of our sad burly pygmy. In any event, it turned out the casting person was the hostile A. K******n, a fact the insufficiently talented, greasy lilliputian found out  a little later when looking at the audition's details. And so the stout cocksucker passed.