(TOR-puhr) Pronunciation CLICK HERE
noun: A state marked by apathy, lethargy, and inactivity.
The Cmmdr entered the elevator in his building clutching two packages from Amazon, three envelopes from SAG/AFTRA, a New York Magazine, a New Yorker Magazine, a Rolling Stone, a small plastic bag with two cans of potatoes and his backpack filled with post-its. He pressed the button for his floor and heaved a fetid sigh. As the doors were closing an elderly woman he had never seen before entered the car. She said "Could you please press 3?" Begrudgingly he raised his index finger with what felt like 50 lb. weight. He grunted and pushed 3. "Happy?" he croaked. She was deaf. She smiled. She smelled vaguely of moth balls and something he couldn't distinguish. Vinegar? The Maine Septic? Floor Three came, the doors creaked open, and she left, mumbling something he couldn't quite make out. He realized he hated her more than he ever hated anyone in his life. Why couldn't she have died and let him ride in peace? The car continued on. He arrived at his front door, fumbled for the key, opened the flimsy door and loped in. Exhausted he sat wearily into the nearest chair, dropping his precious parcels to the floor. For a long moment it was quiet. The only sound was his labored breathing. He looked to the ceilng and to no one he shrieked "the TORPOR, oh the TORPOR!"