US: How about self-esteem on a scale of 1 to 10?
CMMDR: Minus 741
US: That's low.
CMMDR:You should see it on Fridays.
US: We noticed a bit of a gut around the abdomen?
CMMDR: I'm a sow. I brush my teeth with butter. Next?
CMMDR:Let me put it this way: I have enough time to clean the Kremlin with my tongue.
US: Moving on.
CMMDR: Oh I thought you said ‘upchucking’ and I was about say yes, every day, in my mind, regurgitating the mistakes, throwing up the past over and over, the remorse pooling into my present like a stream of sewage from years gone by, until the dam of denial breaks and-
US: What’s on the horizon?
CMMDR: Have you ever heard the phrase ‘a mountain of shit?’
US: Anything in the can?
CMMDR: An obit.
US: Anecdotes? Remembrances?
CMMDR: Sure, I remember doing an episode of HUNTER, years ago, and the costume was very tight, way too small.
CMMDR: Die young.