THE ENSIGN’S SURE TO FAIL PITCH IDEAS

Have time to waste? These sure to fail ideas for TV & film are taken directly from the Ensign’s life. Easy to access the details too – the little bitter Hebrew man tells these anecdotes constantly… just listen in!!

Here’s an idea for a series: a middle-aged Jew is visiting his intellectual friend at a high falutin’ liberal arts college. One morning he over-sleeps and his friend’s dad greets him at the breakfast table saying ‘Some of us have been up for hours while other of us have been pressing the bed.’  That’s the pilot, but each morning we can hear a different greeting – hilarity could very well ensue!!!

This might be perfect for the indie arm of Fox; we’ve heard this since the beginning of time, but it never gets old: an older actor, near the finish line of his career, grabs one last shot. A play on the Great White Way! But it doesn’t have legs and closes. But for years and years later, we get to hear, over and over, endlessly, a never-ending mournful wail: ‘Every single person who was in (title of play) has gone on to a successful theatre career except me. Hecht, Fontana, Noah, etc.’ There is a risk is the audience will tired of hearing this complaint for the length of the 90 minute film, but show biz is a gamble, right?!

We’ve got a gripping idea for a podcast, direct from the Ensign’s grab bag of adventures: the Ensign tries to convince the CMMDR to watch Elevator to the Gallows. It just won’t take. Even after shipping DVDs of the film, arranging a screening at a theatre in NY, and personally having Jeanne Moreau telephone the CMMDR, the little bald man won’t bite. The film goes unwatched!