The Cmmdr gets a call

Cmmdr (picks up phone): Hello?
Ensign (annoyed): What?
Cmmdr: I'm sorry. You called me.
Ensign (peeved): Don't give me this runaround.
Cmmdr ( placating): I'm sorry. What did I do?
Ensign ( pissed off): You called earlier and didn't leave a message.
Cmmdr: Well, I was just calling to say hi.
Ensign (attacking): And you couldn't leave a message?
Cmmdr: I'm sorry, I guess I should have.
Ensign (caustic): Yes, I guess you should have.
Cmmdr: Sorry.
Ensign ( furious) And what, WHAT. What do you have?
Cmmdr: nothing.
Ensign (baiting the Cmmdr): Off to see your movie with all your friends?
Cmmdr: No. I did see it with Patrick. That was it.
Ensign (extraordinarily angry): oh bullshit, you've seen it with everyone. Every day, you're off to
see it with someone new, some one else.
Cmmdr. Not really.
Ensign (basically negating): Yeah.
Cmmdr: (trying to be nice): How are you?
Ensign (histrionicly dumbfounded): HOW AM I? Me? Are you sure we're done discussing you?
Cmmdr: yeah, I guess.
Ensign (deeply bitter) I'm godawful.
Cmmdr: What's wrong?
Ensign (raging) EVERYTHING. MY CAREER. MY LIFE.
Cmmdr: I'm so sorry.
Ensign ( accusatory, hateful) You're sorry? Oh please.
Cmmdr: Listen, I need to g-
Ensign (scathingly and faking apologies ) oh, sorry, sorry, oh yes, I'm so sorry, please, go, is didn't mean to hold you up.
Cmmdr. No, it's just that I have to help Patty -
Ensign (determined to cause guilt ) Please! Don't mind me! I'm nothing. You go on, do what you have to, I'll just simmer and die.
Cmmdr: Well. Talk soon?
Ensign: (rejected and seething): If I'm still alive.
Cmmdr. Ha. Ok. Well. I'm sorry.
Ensign: (depleted) Yeah. ( hangs up).