I HAVE DEPT.

 THE RULES OF "I HAVE".

The HAVE-ee announces he or she has by a simple "I HAVE".

The HAVE-nots then resent the HAVE-ee and announce they are angry and

demand to know the nature of the HAVE.

The HAVE-ee may or may not continue annoying the HAVE-nots by responding with 

    vague responses, to wit:  "oh its nothing" or "I might be gone for

a copule of months" or "There are so many jewish lawyers in this HAVE that

  it smells like a Cattle Car to Bitburg"...etc...

The HAVE-nots then proceed to get very very angry and are

allowed at this point to use very large fonts and over-tax the TEXT MESSAGE abilities

of their respective cell devices DEMANDING from the HAVE-ee to know the nature of the HAVE.

The HAVE-ee then proceeds to let the information of his or her Have dribble out...i.e.

"Its on NBC" "Its a 57 show arc" "its Pretty much me and Terrence McNally"

etc. and FINALLY, after some back and forth,  the HAVE-ee proclaims, in a small humble voice, the

HAVE.

The other participants then throw in their chips and congratulate the HAVE-ee, all the

while truly resenting them and grumbling about their hideous lot in life. The HAVE-ee must then do a bit of faux soul searching, telling the HAVE-nots that yes, they too, someday, in the not too distant future, will, perhaps, with luck and a bit of casting couch cock-sucking, might be called telephonically with a message regarding a possible bit of HAVE that may or may not go their way...barring the hiring of ANYONE ELSE.