Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Follow-up Dept.

Hey HWHN:

I'm confused by that last letter.  If all the actors in the world
were laid end to end would the Cmmdr be asked to step
away from the line and go home?  And, as a side question,
how long did it take to put on that make-up he wore in that
thing?

Signed
Anxious

Dear Anxious

Funny question really because, c'mon get real, the Cmmdr probably wouldn't
have shown up on LINE day. He forgot to write it in his book.  Besides its
Potato and Beet Day on McFarlane.

That said, I keep thinking that "If all the actors in the world were laid
end to end" I hope most of them were using some form of protection.
And Not AFTRA.
HA. GET IT?  Cheers.

1 comment:

Manohla Dargis said...

Word up, Anxious.
LINE DAY is no hypothetical -- as the Nil-folks would have you believe.
Oh, it happened all right. I did not witness the event myself -- as the USA channel was airing a Bones marathon that day. That's correct, Anxious, twelve whole hours of back-to-back episodes. Fist pump to that, am I right?  But seriously, the riveting "will they or won't they?" tension on that sterling broadcast enterprise kept a LOT of ladies home that day.

This epic fail in scheduling turned out to be just the first of many organizational foul-ups that sunny June morning. The grand sweep of which, trade papers would later describe as a "Total Cock-up" and a "Major Cluster-fuck."  Without going into too many details, Anxious, let's just say there were a lotta "traffic jams." You see, the actors were lined up according to HEIGHT. 

So, needless to say, the front of that line saw a LOT more action than, oh, say.... the end of the line. Many of those holding the "short end of the stick" (so to speak), got so bored after finishing their umpteenth crossword puzzle that they just aimlessly wandered off when lunch break was called. It is believed that most of them ended up at a pool party over at Danny Devito's house.  Brad Garrett, on the other hand, may well be considered the hardest working actor in show business (if you get my meaning). I heard that he was walking funny for weeks afterwards. And it is said that he scored big in both meal penalty departments and golden time. 
Factoid: If you ever want to make a Teamster flinch, just look him dead in the eye and say "Line Day."