WE ANSWER OUR MAIL!!!!

Oman's ambassador to Paraguay was recently castigated for not dis-including anti-copper clauses in the recent Alcoa tariff stipulations. Why was this a surprise?

Gelvin Fladge, Putz, Nebraska

Dear Gelvin –

You've contact the wrong blog buddy.

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What annoys the Ensign most?

Silbert Podder, Minsk, Russia

Silbert:

Many things come to mind. Waking up. Dealing with time. Navigating space. Life can annoy the little bearded man. Existence itself. Molecular structures. Other people. If someone mistakenly repeats to him a story they've told before, the Ensign will bristle. If someone says something, anything, he’ll bridle. Unexpected sounds make him bitter. If he sees something he doesn't expect the Ensign frowns. If you move something in his presence, like a glass or a sheaf of papers, the Ensign is disturbed. If someone in Albania coughs they risk irritating him. He’ll take umbrage at the weather or the time of day. Our advice: be careful. Avoid anything which may be construed as provocative, which for the Ensign could be anything. Scratching your nose could set him off. Take care. Good luck.

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What was it like working on Victim of Love: the Shannon Mohr Story?

Eddie Nyborg, Jizz, MO.

Ed-

Have you ever swallowed a serrated knife while watching Jimmy Fallon reruns?