Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Agent Speak Dept.



Congratulations CMMDR!!!

They liked you very much and have said you are the choice!
They are NOT PULLING THE TRIGGER YET, but want to know if you have anything that comes up that might conflict...etc. etc..


"PULL THE TRIGGER"...So getting hired is akin to a bullet through the brain?

Other recent emails from agents:

-They're not putting the noose around your neck yet, but...

-THEY LOVED YOU! They haven't made up the board yet so it'll be a week before they cover spikes with elephant dung and shove them under your fingernails. Here's hoping!

-IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE THE CHOICE!!  They won't know for a few days, but then they're going to skin you alive and soak you in salt and put an ax through your skull!

-GOOD NEWS ENSIGN!! You're Who the producers WANT! They're waiting for network approval before they put the jagged glass up your urethera!

-CMMDR! Just heard from casting They're pinning you for this. Studo just needs one more day and they they're going to break your knee with a 2 by 4 and bury you alive at Fresh Kills.

-Hey, Cabin Boy...Sorry I didn't get back to you last week. Been crazy busy.  Just got off the phone with Avy. She says "YOU DID AWESOME" and is not sure which way they want to go, but looks 'good'. (Her words, not mine!) Probably won't be till after everyone gets back from Sundance before they pop out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you. FINGERS CROSSED!!

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