CMMDR CORNER: Man Takes Sober Moment To Reflect On Fact That Most Of Meal Already Gone

http://www.theonion.com/r/53025

DERBY, KS—Solemnly setting down the remainder of his Turkey Bacon Ranch sub and lowering his eyes to the few chips left on his plate, local man Paul DePietro reportedly took a moment Thursday to quietly reflect on the fact that most of his lunch was already gone.