We eavesdrop on a conversation.....

(Phone rings in CMMDR’s apartment.)

CMMDR: (Graciously). Hello?

ENSIGN: (Angry.) Hello? That's it?

CMMDR: (Contrite.) Sorry. Hi.

ENSIGN: (Caustic.) Oh, ‘hi?’ HI? HI!!!!!

CMMDR: (Friendly). What's up?

ENSIGN: (Pissed.) What's up? You know, fuck you.

CMMDR: (Taken aback.) Jeeze.

ENSIGN: (Insinuating.) Calling me on your little phone?

CMMDR: (Coping.) Actually yes I am.

ENSIGN: (Baiting.) Why don’t you upgrade to a 6. Is it too hard for Mr. Money Bags to upgrade?

CMMDR: (Being realistic.) This phone works fine.

ENSIGN: (Argumentative.) Define ‘fine.’

CMMDR: (Honest.) It works.

ENSIGN: (Downtrodden.) Right. It works. Everything works but me.

CMMDR: (New tact.) Where are you?

ENSIGN: (Peeved.) Jesus. Let me wait while you realize what a stupid question that is.

CMMDR: (Lost.) Sorry.

ENSIGN: (Enraged.)You’re sorry?

CMMDR: (Trying.) It’s a beautiful day out there. Have you been out?

ENSIGN: (Scathing). Yeah, for you, for you it’s perfect.

CMMDR: (Pointing out a fact). It’s not perfect for me.

ENSIGN: (Attempting humor). I’m ‘FWHACFRONLPOUKWWDRBJJIOOUYRRXWEED.’

CMMDR: (Begging off). You know, I’m not even gonna try. It’s ‘Fellow Who…’ and then I just can’t find the energy.

ENSIGN: (Biting.) Oh, tired from having?

CMMDR: (Baffled).You act like I-

ENSIGN: (Screaming.) I don’t act! That’s the problem! JESUS!

CMMDR: (Finished). Listen, I have to g-

ENSIGN: (Falsely). Oh, sorry, I am so sorry, please, sorry for calling, I’ll just move on.

CMMDR: (Really needing to move on). No, it’s just that I have to deal with something.

ENSIGN: (Hopeless rage). WHAT THE FUCK IS IT THAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH?! THIS IS SO UNFAIR!!

CMMDR: (Done.) I have to use the john. Is that OK?

ENSIGN: (Authoritarian.) ‘Ya know, that’s not OK.

CMMDR: (Brave). Bye. (Hangs up).