We Eavesdrop on a Phone Conversation.

E. Anything?

C. Nothing.

E. How was your fitting?

C. It wasn’t today.

E. (angry, baffled) IT WASN’T TODAY????

C. No.

E. You said and I quote ‘you had a fitting for (insert some show which will not matter ten minutes after it airs)!’

C. I do have a fitting for (insert some show which will not matter ten minutes after it airs) But it wasn’t today.

E. That is really- fuck! You know that? To lead me to believe your fitting was today when in fact it wasn’t?? Jesus Christ. I based most of my day’s misery around your fitting.

C. I’m sorry. How is the film you are doing?

E. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????? I am being constrained in a vinyl bag behind crafty.

C. Really?

E. A black vinyl bag.

C. Not even a honey wagon?

E. The deal for this film was made in Latvia by a vampire with Down Syndrome.

C. Well, listen. At least you’re in a big movie. You’re working.

E. Oh c’mon!! That’s the stupidest thing anyone can say. ‘At least you’re working.’ I’ve been in a million movies and TV shows!

C. That-

E. That’s why I NEVER WORK!

C. Wait-

E. I’m always working! My career sucks!

C. Huh.

E. When is your fitting.

C. Why?

E. Just tell me.

C. Wednesday.

E. (disgusted) Wednesday.

C. (Yelling to his wife) OK, great hon!

E. What is great? WHAT IS GREAT??

C. Patty found the vinegar I wanted.

E. You have everything.