WORD OF THE DAY DEPT.

naufrague
n.  a shipwrecked person

Fade up
--There's a Knock at the door--
CMMDR: Who is it?
ENSIGN:  (From other side of door) It is I.
C: (annoyed and Foot is hurting) WHO THE FUCK IS "I"
E: C'mon, its me.
C:  (irked and Arm is aching) Well which is it? I or ME?
E:  Forget that. I'm NAUFRAGUE
C:  (Confused and some slight Hair loss) WHAT?
E: NAUFRAGUE. NAUFRAGUE. LOOK IT UP.
(Pause.  Grunts and Sweating Sounds come from CMMDR while searching for a dictionary..)
C:  Ooomph. (Exhausted and Knee is throbbing) Is that KN or N?
E: JESUS CHRIST.  ITS ME, THE ENSIGN. OPEN THE DOOR.
C: Oh...(thinks but is distracted while wondering what all his remotes do) Okay, come in.
(Ensign enters.  He is soaking wet.)
C: (pause) You're freaking wet.
E: I'm Naufrague you Idiot.
C: Huh. (really really confused) I thought it was a figure of speech.
E: No, I'm literally Shipwrecked.
C: (distracted by everything everywhere)  Well,  don't just stand there, you're dripping all over the floor.
--fade--