We Once Again Tackle Our Mail!

Why is the Ensign’s car such a mess?

Lou Fugg, Marie, AL.

Lou, the Ensign is planning on buying a pig.

The CMMDR is falling apart: his knee, his other knee, his bicep tendon, now his left foot. What’s going on?

Mandy Lieberman, NY, NY.

Mandy- The CMMDR is an old man. He is so old he actually took his driver’s test on a dinosaur. Taft signed his yearbook. He’s had drinks with Marco Polo. He farts dust. He recently walked into an antique store and they kept him.

The Ensign is wrapped on the Shannon/Carell vehicle; what will he do now?

Yally Ud, BC, Canada

Yally – The Ensign will whine, bitch, and complain and then begin to doubt and fret, and eventually will reach despair and hopelessness, thus wasting a whole lot of time. Then he will get a job and the cycle will begin again until his next job.

I’ve noticed the Ensign spends a lot of effort correcting spelling, syntax, and grammar in the texts he receives. Why is that?

Terry Friedman, Keno, JK.

Terry, simple answer. The Ensign has more time to kill than God.