Friday, November 14, 2014

More From the Mailbag Dept.

Dear Nil Blog:
     Settle a bet!
             Lucy Goo-see  Tripthane, Minn.

Lucy
Sure! 
Hope that helps.


To Whomever:
    What the fuck? Seriously. What the fuck?
             (Name withheld on request)

Dear Anonymous
We Know, we know.  Here's an example:  Google LOVE INC. and see the CMMDR's work as Dr. Elliot Schmallenberg.....   (Hint: Don't).  But If that doesn't answer your question consider this while watching: The CMMDR has an MFA in Acting. 


Sirs:
       I enjoy reading the comings and goings of your blog.  I'm a little confused about the relationship of the CMMDR and the Ensign. How old are they? And, more important, Are they Friends? (it's hard to tell) And, If so, who is the Better Friend and who is the Lesser Friend?
       And does the better friend resent with every fiber of his being the shabby way he is treated by the lesser friend?   Lets' just say, for instance, does he get annoyed every time he finds empty Nicorette Gum packages discarded on his floor? Or, by way of an example, does he spend a lot of time thinking about how he, I don't know, labored for hours over, gosh, opening night gifts, only to find that they've been tossed into the trash?  Or how He, the Better Friend, actually ATTENDED the Lesser Friends many theatrical 'attempts' while the Lesser Friend couldn't be bothered seeing the Better Friend in his because the Lesser Friend didn't live on the same coast or some excuse?  Or, how about, when the Lesser Friend has been unemployed for periods of time in his life the Better Friend understood and tried to make the Lesser Friend feel better, but when the Better Friend comes upon a rough patch the Lesser Friend couldn't give a, as the kids say, flying fuck because the Lesser Friend is just too busy and refers to the Better Friend's dismay as "whining" or some such?   I'm just musing here..but, that said, I really really enjoy the sparring between the two of them.  They are "funny". (I don't care what Stanley Soble once said about the Ensign)  Albeit an acquired taste.    Also, I really like other blogs whose names I can't remember right now but when I do I'll forward to you.

         Thanking you in advance...
                 Dennis Bo*****karis Nyack, NY

Dennis!
      There's so much in your letter I don't know where to start.  
      First: their ages? Think MESOZOIC. OLD? The CMMDR's first resume consisted of one credit: Opposable Thumbs--A Reading. 
      Their relationship? Well....Remember that song from OKLAHOMA? The Farmer and the Cowman Should Be Friends ....... with the lyric"one man likes to push a plough, the other likes to chase a cow..."   Or even "you say potato and I say potahto"?  That's kind of like CMMDR and the Ensign. Although in the latter example CMMDR has been known to be both the potato and the potahto while the Ensign will have the Kale with a side of Bitter Bile and in the former example imagine the Ensign Chasing CMMDR.  Its not a pretty thought but there it is. (Ha).
      Not to worry though. Soon they'll both be dust and small asterisks in the Archives of CRIMINAL MINDS.
     On a side note? I'm curious....Are you the same D. Bo*****karis who was in A Picasso? If so, why didn't you bother learning a Spanish Accent? As I recall you sounded like your dialect was orbiting the earth every 30 minutes... 
Cheers!

    That's all till next time...keep 'em coming...
    



4 comments:

lcg said...

If one accpets the given hypothesis that there is, in fact, a "better friend" and a "lesser friend"...
what factors may one consider in determining the validity of a correlative supposition that there is, in fact, furthermore, a third party "best friend"?

And who cuts her bangs?

Anonymous said...

As per usual I don't get a HOWLING or a LOL. But comments. I'm done.

lcg said...

ACCEPTS

(beat you)

lcg said...

YOU'RE DONE???

THE COMMENT TOOK MUCH MORE EFFORT.

FINE.

HOWLING.

LOL.

HAPPY???

I THOUGHT NOT.