CMMDR and ENSIGN Go Out To Dinner (All texts guaranteed verbatim)

CMMDR AND ENSIGN ARE TO MEET---
Ensign's Phone DINGS

CMMDR: (Texting) Where R U?
ENSIGN: (Texting)  Weren't we meeting at 6:30? Its only 600!
C: (txt) I'm hear albino.
E:  (txt) Albino?
C:  (txt) Not Albino...ALREADY. Auto-collitis.  God I HATE THIS PHONO. Auto-correct!
E:  (txt)  Y ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?
C: (txt) Ooo All Caps.  The Typo is Mask.
E:  (txt) HUH?
C: (Txt) Not TYPO.  TYRANT! TYRANT IS MAD. FUCK AUTO-CONSTIPATE
E:  (txt) How about fuck your eye-sight?
C: (txt) How about fuck u?
E:  (txt) How about we stop being friends?
C:  (txt)  Are You Packing?
E:  (txt) ?
C: (txt)  GODDAMMIT. R U Puck-Rink?
E:  (txt) No clue
C:  (txt) PARKING.  ARE YOU PARKING? When will you Ghana?
E:  (txt) Jesus. Ghana  ??
C:  (txt) FUCK FUCE! GET HERPes?
E:  (txt) Again, HUH?
C:  (Txt) HERE. I SALAD HERB. I SAID HERE. HERE. NOT HERTZ.   FUCK.
E:  (txt) Okay, this has been fun but I'm trying to park.
C:  (Txt) I want to diet.
E:  (txt)  U Should.
C:  (txt) NO NO, DIE, I WANT TO DIET. DIKE. DICE. DIME. DIET. JESUS FUCK.
E:  (txt) I repeat, you should..
C: (txt) Is it possible to hate a phone as much as I hate Thebes?
E:  (txt) You hate Thebes?
C:  (Txt) No, this Phobos.
E:  (txt)  All kinds of Greeks?  What about Aristotle?
C:  (txt) Yes Aristotle iPhobos.
E:  (txt) Wow.  Is it possible that you meant Apple iPhone?
C:  (txt) Yemen.
E:  (Txt) Yemen? I give.
C:  (txt)  Okay.  I hate U and I hate this.  I'm going to buy a Glove.
E:  (txt) Buy two, one for each hand.
C:  (Txt)  NO NOT A GLOVE, A GLOBE. A FUCK FUCK FUK.
E:  (Txt)  Here: this one's on me: A Glock?
--click--