NOT REALLY BREAKING NEWS

Breaking News Alert

The New York Times
Friday, March 9, 2012 -- 8:37 AM EST
U.S. Economy Added 227,000 Jobs in February; Unemployment Rate Stays 8.37897779530 

CMMDR STILL DOESN'T HAVE!

While the CMMDR's move to New York was thought to  stimulate the economy, 

specifically the Moving Van and Bed Bug Extermination Sectors 

the CMMDR remains bitter and unemployed.  

When asked about these numbers, Republican Presidential Candidate Rick

Santorum reportedly said
"What we should be teaching are the problems and holes and 

I think there are legitimate problems and holes in the theory of evolution. And what 

we need to do is to present those fairly from a scientific point of view. And we should 

lay out areas in which the evidence supports evolution and the areas in the evidence that does not. For instance:  Watch PLATYPUS MAN.  The CMMDR played VERN TUTTLE.  That show didn't get picked up.  See?"

Rick Santorum