Friday, September 16, 2011

CMMDR's Condolences Dept.

ring ring
Ensign: Um, I have a father who died a week ago...
C: Oh, right, yeah, father, yeah, knew he was going, right?
E: Yes and NO, but--
C: But, he wasn’t that badly hurt, right?
E: No, that’s not--
C: So, yeah, its hard.
         But, other than that you’re all set, right?
E: No, actually, its been kind of-
C: So, my wish for you, is that when you’re all set on your set-
E: Jesus-
C: --And youre talking with the director about this and that-
E:  Like, where I'm to stand in the background?
C: -And he asks “what did you do this weekend?”
E:  More like "What's your name again?"
C:  Then You'll say that
E and C in UNISON: My Friend the CMMDR-
C: EXACTLY, Your friend the CMMDR is an underused but very talented-
E: -albeit loper-
C: -Little loper who can play a variety of Unctuous meek men-
E: A variety? I thought VARIETY meant more than ONE--
C: so that when you go off to the Riviera or
E: -Downtown Queens--
C: ---To shoot 5, 6, 7, 8,
E: I have one more day
C--there could be the tiniest possibility that--
E: -What’s smaller than TINIEST?-
C: That my “people” will get a call for me to put myself on tape--
E: -That really worked with YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU-
C: And perhaps I could have a MOdicum of employment.
E: How are you pronouncing it?
C: What?
E: That "M" word.  Say it again.
C: MOdicum.  What's wrong with that?
E: I don't think that's right.  Why are you saying it like that?
C: With a long O? That's the proper way:  MOdicum.
E: No. Isn't it Mah-dicum? Like Mod Squad?
C: I was saying it that way to sound British.
E: OH, You're right, of course, stupid me,  for a second I thought I was driving on the wrong side of the road.
C: What about my employment?
E: What about it?
C: All I want is a week.
     A day?
    A half day?
     I could punch the holes in the side of the film?
E: None of this will happen.
C: Oh, that’s my sax teacher at the door.  Got to go.  Again, too bad about your-

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