Apple Says Steve Jobs Will Take a New Medical Leave. CMMDR says "He's not sick, he just wants to HURT ME."

Steve Jobs, the co-founder and chief executive of Apple, is taking a medical leave of absence, a year and a half after his return from a liver transplant, raising questions about both his long-term prognosis and the future of the world’s most valuable technology company, specifically shares owned by the CMMDR.

     The CMMDR, an actor known more for his loping gait and expansive girth than his stock savvy, was notified in Burbank this morning of Mr. Jobs' impending leave.  As he watched the stock price of his Apple Shares tumble in Foreign Markets he wept.  "It was above 300, now its at 12 Dollars and Eleven Fucking Cents. I'm bankrupt. I don't have a thing.  I just last week moved ALL MY MONEY into Apple.  He did this to me specifically.  HE KNEW.  I'm supposed to believe he's SICK? HE'S RICH.  RICH PEOPLE DON'T GET SICK."  The CMMDR's past financial blunders include a ZUNE franchise; a NEWTON Concession; 5,000,000 shares of Palm Pilot and a sizable investment in the Chevy Chase Talk Show.  In all investments he lost his shirt, which in the CMMDRs case, is not a pleasing sight.  More like Mold on a Russet.