HE WHO HAS NIL PRESENTS THE EMPTY AWARDS

We at H.W.H.N. are proud to present the ‘Empty’ awards for a variety of different achievements.

For sustained mediocrity:

Showing throughout the year a continued lack of creativity and productivity, and when employed, a total dearth of anything remotely resembling talent, The Empty for sustained mediocrity this year goes to the Cmmdr!

Cmmdr: Thank you, this means a great deal to me. I’m an idiot. Gut me like a fish, throw the offal to the bottom dwellers. Thank you.


For most desiccated career:

For an absolute aridity of engagements throughout the year – a veritable drought of work –save for one indie of questionable merit, and a fruitless search for monies from the professional entertainment field, the Empty for most desiccated career goes to the Ensign.

Ensign: You know, fuck you. Fuck you.

And this evening, a special award, the ‘Full,’ goes to he who has everything.

This year, for continued excellence in high paying roles, as well as countless opportunities, offers, and praise, in all the mediums, and for unimaginable focus and clarity, and a universal goodness, the Full goes this year to the Spoiler.

The Spoiler is on location in Bora Bora. Accepting for him is the Pope.