Small Terrorist Cell Located in Burbank, CA.

Homeland Security has revealed plans by an obscure terrorist group, Al-Coulda’, to bomb casting offices throughout Los Angeles. Led by the non-charismatic Muhammed Shlmiel bin-Dumpy al-Cmmdr, the association has no connection to any other known terrorist groups. In fact, al-Cmmdr is the only member. A small, stout, stodgy, bald man with a paunch and gravy-colored eyes, he seems consumed by a hatred of television and film and is intent on inflicting serious harm to the industry. However, there apparently never was any real threat. His arsenal included a rolled-up copy of the trade journal Backstage re-inforced with gaffers tape, as well as a severe case of flatulence, attributed to a diet of duck fat and fava beans. Al-Coulda’ was formally known as ‘Al-Why Me?’