Actual Phone Transcript #46 "...chewing....

Ring--Ring

CMMDR--(Chewing and chewing)Hello...Its IWOW, its IWOW..
ENSIGN-Jesus, okay.
CMMDR-(Continuing with the chewing) It's IWOW
ENSIGN-Please just, enough, okay?
CMMDR-Uh oh, Moshe's angry.
ENSIGN-What does IWOW Mean anyway?
C-Idiot without WIngs
E-Yeah, I understand the idiot part, but what's with the wings?
C-(Gnashing, chewing, gulping) I Don't have wings.
E- You don't have WINGS? What are you, Joan of Arc? You could have just as easily said "I don't have a career"
C-I don't!
E-I KNOW I KNOW.
--pause--
CMMDR-(Chomping, chewing, now drinking, then chewing again)What do you have?
E-I really have nothing. I'm so depressed. I need to talk with you, I'm--
CMMDR-(SCREAMING LOUDLY TO SOMEONE NOT ON PHONE) HONEY!
Voice faint in distance, probably "honey"--WHAT?
CMMDR-THIS PURPLE LETTUCE IS GOOD. (into phone) Anyway--
E-Anyway What? I'm bleeding from the ear here..
Faint Voice-(Undecipherable)
CMMDR-ITS CALLED PURPLE LETTUCE, SO ITS PURPLE. (into phone)So what do you have?
E-Jesus fucking christ, Are you yelling at someone in TOPEKA?
C-(More of the chewing and the swallowing)Sorry, anyway, what were you saying?
E-Just that I feel so--
C-(INCREDIBLY LOUD) NO, ITS SUPPOSED TO LOOK THAT WAY! So, what, you're feeling what? (Chewing sounds with chewing noises)
Hello? (chewing, chewing, chewing)
dial tone