H.W.H.N. Exclusive: An Insider's Peek Into CMMDR's Command Center

Note lack of any actual information on Post-its.

De Niro becomes Honorary Member of H.W.H.N.

Ensign Still AT Home

Attendance Office

This is a list of visitors to He Who Has Nil in the past few hours. Note that we are popular in India as well as Vietnam.
Is this troubling? Or just proof of the universal themes we tackle? Cmmdr's lack, Ensign's rage, Spoiler's having, the Cabin Boy's having but not as much as the Spoiler, and What the Hell ever happened to L'''''''l buddy? Viva Dac Lac.

Ensign at Home.

Ensign Queries

Question:
I'm confused: is there just pretty much
a lot of having for others and not much left
for me?

Thanks
Ensign

True Tales from The Breakdowns

SHADOW PEOPLE
Location: rehearse: Los Angeles perform: New York
NOTES: An edgy black comedy set in the gay, urban world of crystal meth addiction that explores universal themes of self-acceptance and redemption.

[TOMMY] Late 20's to 30's. Gay drug dealer. Half Jewish, half Eskimo. Deadpan, comical, QUIRKY.


(So, this Jewish Eskimo walks into a bar...)

Its come to this.

Update from the EMPTIES

Crowds gathered to see THE SPOILER accept his award, only to be disappointed as his replacement, the POPE (A "B-Lister" if there ever was one), accepts for him.

HE WHO HAS NIL PRESENTS THE EMPTY AWARDS

We at H.W.H.N. are proud to present the ‘Empty’ awards for a variety of different achievements.

For sustained mediocrity:

Showing throughout the year a continued lack of creativity and productivity, and when employed, a total dearth of anything remotely resembling talent, The Empty for sustained mediocrity this year goes to the Cmmdr!

Cmmdr: Thank you, this means a great deal to me. I’m an idiot. Gut me like a fish, throw the offal to the bottom dwellers. Thank you.


For most desiccated career:

For an absolute aridity of engagements throughout the year – a veritable drought of work –save for one indie of questionable merit, and a fruitless search for monies from the professional entertainment field, the Empty for most desiccated career goes to the Ensign.

Ensign: You know, fuck you. Fuck you.

And this evening, a special award, the ‘Full,’ goes to he who has everything.

This year, for continued excellence in high paying roles, as well as countless opportunities, offers, and praise, in all the mediums, and for unimaginable focus and clarity, and a universal goodness, the Full goes this year to the Spoiler.

The Spoiler is on location in Bora Bora. Accepting for him is the Pope.

List of the Heaviest People Ever Recorded.

This is a list of the most obese humans recorded. The table includes each individual's name, peak weight, their birth date, and years of life. This list is limited to those individuals who weighed over 1000 pounds.


Rank, Name, Sex, Birth, Death, Peak Weight
1 Carol Yager, F, 1960, 1994, 1600+ lb (727+ kg)
2 Jon Brower Minnoch, M, 1941, 1983, 1400 lb (636 kg)
3 Manuel Uribe, M, 1966, 1235 lb (550 kg)
4 Walter Hudson, M, 1944, 1991, 1197 lb (544 kg)
5 Francis John Lang, M, 1934, 1187 lb (540 kg)
6 Johnny Alee, M, 1853, 1887, 1132 lb (514 kg)



http://wikidumper.blogspot.com/

This article taken from a website that logs rejected Wikipedia articles..click here for link (although interestingly enough, The CMMDRs entry remains intact....)

Ensign's Career Caught On Video

You Can't Make This Up Dept: True Tales from the Breakdowns

UNTITLED WILDERNESS ADVENTURE (Sasquatch)
Start Date: Mid August

[SASQUATCH] 20s - 40s, very tall. He has attributes of both a massive, gorilla-like
sasquatch/bigfoot creature and a 'hairy wild man' creature who has more human-like features. He
is a keen observer of his environment, even tempered and of good will towards other creatures,
highly sensitive in his interactions with his human friend.
DARK-HAIRED, DARK-EYED, MIXED-RACE ACTORS DESIRABLE, especially all or part Pacific
Islander, Native American/First Nations (Especially Nootka-Haida-Kwakiutl-Eskimo).

(No Gnomish, balding, lopers please)

How the CMMDR will end up...

Unsettling Video of Cmmdr's Latest Role

Dept. of Corrections

A headline for a previous H.W.H.N. story should have read:

"Great News for the LATE Nurse FAN"

We aplogize for any inconvenience.

Dept. of Corrections

A headline for a previous H.W.H.N. story should have read:

"Great News for Nurse FAN"

We aplogize for any inconvenience.

Great News for Nurse fans!

Finally!

After years of worry over whether the insipid series from the early 80's would ever be released, it was decided on Friday to burn the master tapes. Now no one has to be anxious over the possibility of coming across even one frame of Joe Calvo!

GREAT NEWS for BENSON FANS!

Finally!
The first season of Benson on DVD!! Click here to order yours.
Extra Bonus: THERE'S NO PETE!